How can i be desirable? I dont think i'm unattractive or
lack perosnality, but i defintely lack that 'desirable
factor' the one that reels guys in. It must be my energy
or something. Having had an industrialised upbringing, which was
strict, i seem to exude the same dorky introvertness when out
amidst people. this usually leads to me attracting the worst type
of guys who only want to use you for sex or to boost their
egos.
How do soem women have that IT factor. I've never had it and
would like to have even a part of it. Any advice?
It's starting to kill me that i never experience love or
intimacy on a deep level:(
User post: How can I become desirable to men?
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Posted by Tue Nov 3, 2009 7:26am PST
Report AbuseAsk your girlfriends what they see you might be doing wrong when around the opposite sex and let them be honest so be ready for some criticism. What also helps is dressing in something you feel makes you look sexy. Confidence is half the battle and if you look and feel your best each time you are "out there" it will come through. Good luck!
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Posted by Tue Nov 3, 2009 7:38am PST
Report AbuseAll women are desirable to Men. You are the it you speak of. You just need to stop thinking all guys are Men. A Man has a whole nother feel to it and it's never immaturity or disrespect to a real Woman. You just wish there were more good Men that's all. You'll find yours through GOD, patience, planning and self awareness...besides you want it bad enough to need it and that drive will take you to your desired destination.
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Posted by Tue Nov 3, 2009 7:47am PST
Report AbuseI think it had everything to do with the way you view yourself if you think that you look your best and feel your best then other people notice to. keep your head up when you walk in a room demaned the attention when it is not just handed to you.trust the guy over in the corner is comin over to buy you a drink...lol( lots of love )-Jam
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Posted by Tue Nov 3, 2009 8:08am PST
Report AbuseLOL I have been thinking the same thing the last few days. I think of myself as beautiful but recently I dressed up for Halloween as a vampire in a long dress with a cami under a jacket, awesome! by the way thinking I had over come the sexy short hoeish costumes. I did full makeup (dead looking but really cool) and a hairdo. Men seemed to trip over themselves. What the heck, men that normally are just polite were being frisky. My husband was really turned on. I stepped out of the costume and into my normal boring clothes and makeup still feeling really desireable but the crazyness has gone. What is up?
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Posted by Tue Nov 3, 2009 8:19am PST
Report AbuseI truly think it is all about you and how u feel about yourself !!! can we talk about it
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Posted by Tue Nov 3, 2009 8:21am PST
Report AbuseLOl "monstershank69", do what comes naturally thats all!
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Posted by Tue Nov 3, 2009 8:26am PST
Report AbuseWhat's an industrialized upbringing? You say it was strict, so I'll go with that. I'm assuming you're a bit shy with men. That probably means you don't make eye contact easily or find it comfortable to talk to people you don't know well. What happens then is that you'll get pursued by men who like how you look and who are more aggressive than average, because they don't care if you respond or not, but the nice guys think you are not interested because you are too shy to speak up. I'd work on easy conversation topics, whatever your peer group is talking about, and when you meet a new man you like, if you feel uncomfortable asking personal details, ask if he watches the world series, e.g., or ask about something in the news, or music, does he like a band that gave a recent concert -- it's not a come on, so you don't have to risk rejection, but he will see that you are interested in him and he won't have to stick his neck out to talk to you. Practice talking to men. Then you can pick one you like instead of waiting for a bold type to pick you.
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Posted by Tue Nov 3, 2009 8:36am PST
Report AbuseYeah, I hear you. Sometimes I feel that way too. I think a big part of it is self-confidance, communication skills and presentation. If you feel like a dork, then you will project that onto the guys you meet, even if they think you are great. Also, misery loves company. Birds of a feather flock together, so be wary of other introverts or people with negative attitudes about dating or themselves. They will influence you to avoid putting yourself out there, because they are just as afraid as you are. It helps to have a few extroverts you can spend time with and learn from. The other thing that is important is the ability to handle rejection, because it really isn't anything personal. Anything from bad timing to a rebound can affect your chances with the object of your attraction. It takes time to find a good match.
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Posted by Tue Nov 3, 2009 8:43am PST
Report AbuseGuys have the same problem, what makes women like us, you sound like us guys in reverse...
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Posted by Tue Nov 3, 2009 10:14am PST
Report AbuseHoly smokes, do you speak the way you write??? The other poster had it right: learn to speak and write correctly. That might go a long way toward attracting a higher caliber man.
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