Love + Sex

Monday, November 30, 2009

Keep Your Office Tryst on the DL

John and Pam kept their "Office" romance on the DL and it ended in marriage. David Letterman kept his on the extreme DL and it's likely to end in court.

With Americans spending more and more time at work, it’s no wonder some people have “office wives” or “office husbands” -- people who become surrogate spouses. But what happens when those relationships cross the line?


Not all office relationships are bad; they make the drudgery of work bearable. And some trysts happily become marriages. But those are the happy stories, as rare as lottery winners.

Sure Pam and Jim from “The Office” had their ups and downs, but it's make-believe, people! And for every real-life Pam and Jim, there’s a secretive Letterman love nest that goes up in flames.

And some trysts become office nightmares. After a breakup, anything from a ruined reputation, awkwardness and harassment can follow.

But love is love; your heart wants what it wants. So, against all reasoning, here are a few things to keep your office tryst under the radar:

Step 1
Don’t tell anyone.
As Benjamin Franklin said, “Three people can keep a secret if two are dead.” There is no surer way to release the cat from the bag than to tell a trusted friend. It’s a law of nature: office gossip like this cannot be contained and will spread like a stomach flu.

Step 2
Avoid any hanky-panky at the office.
No ifs, ands or butts. This means no stolen kisses in the copy room; no flirty taps on the behind in the hallway; no cutesy nick-names; and most definitely no using the office desk in ways it was never designed for.

Step 3
Avoid each other at work.
This includes all work functions, especially the holiday office party and picnics. Maybe this is impossible, but do your best to keep your time together at a minimum. You may think you’re keeping things secret, but have a little more respect for your office mates: the energy between you and your lover is palpable.

Step 4
Practice denial.
If confronted by a nosy colleague, admit you have an attraction, (I mean, your co-workers aren’t stupid), but you are certainly not going to figuratively poo where you eat.

Step 5
Think like a mobster in Witness Protection: you have raised suspicions and your movements are being tracked.
At night, leave the office separately. In the morning, don’t arrive from your bedded bliss together. Work-time lunches together are verboten, as well.

Step 6
Beware of the places you meet in public.
Your colleagues are people, too, and may be surprised to find you in a dimly lit restaurant discussing more than the quarterly report. You know exactly what they are going to report come Monday morning.

Step 7
Watch what you email.
Email in the workplace can be legally monitored. Don't get caught in an embarrassing email sex thread with your lover. You know you've been busted when the IT guy gives you a creepy wink.

Step 8
In this day and age of technical wizardry, watch what you post about on your Facebook or MySpace account. Even if you don’t upload an incriminating photo, if both you and your lover post about a weekend hot spot, inquiring minds will surmise you spent it together.

Step 9
Keep up your work.
An office tryst can be a thrilling adventure, but keep your eyes on the prize: your paycheck. Don’t allow the romance to waylay your career. Sure, the relationship may be no one else's business but yours, but the fact is perception is reality. You are doing your career no help by being seen as a home-wrecker or the office player.

Step 10
Never, ever, ever, date your boss.
But now that you’ve broken that rule, don’t be surprised when s/he transfers you to another office after your breakup. If you play with fire, be prepared to get burned. The opposite holds true; if you are a boss and date your subordinate, then look forward to a lawsuit that may sully your reputation forever. Happy times!

Step 11
Decide if it's love or lust.
If it's love, go for broke and let nothing stop you. If lust, put your hormones on ice and move onto greener pastures outside the office.

How to Keep Your Office Tryst on the DL originally published on eHow.com

Have you ever had an office romance? How did it work out for you?

eHow.com is an online community dedicated to providing visitors the ability to research, share, and discuss instructional solutions -- real people succeeding at real projects. More than 45 million people visit eHow.com each month for tips on how to do just about anything.

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Image courtesy of NBC Photo

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From the Community…

Comments 1-7 of 7
  • KittyKat's Avatar
    Posted by KittyKat Tue Oct 6, 2009 6:52pm PDT

    all absolutely true. But an office tryst is something I've never had to worry about thankfully.

    Report Abuse
  • Angela's Avatar
    Posted by Angela Tue Oct 6, 2009 8:43pm PDT

    So, does Shine want readers to keep throwing a fit about Letterman or what? This website should really make up its mind.

    Report Abuse
  • pwsgirl's Avatar
    Posted by pwsgirl Wed Oct 7, 2009 5:07am PDT

    How about "don't date anyone you work with?" That seems like it would be a lot simpler than following this hokey list.

    Report Abuse
  • None's Avatar
    Posted by None Wed Oct 7, 2009 5:30am PDT

    Good List, but sometimes "alphagrl" the work place is the only place to meet quality individuals & I am open to it, your soul mate could be anywhere, but you have to think about if you break up, will you be able to handle it like adults, I couldn't date someone in my department though....very hard & weird

    Report Abuse
  • liliflowers's Avatar
    Posted by liliflowers Wed Oct 7, 2009 7:16am PDT

    Office trists and what not can be fun! Just don't be an idiot!

    Report Abuse
  • H's Avatar
    Posted by H Sun Oct 11, 2009 5:31pm PDT

    i must admit, its so hard to fall for someone u work with. but after years of working with my best friend, we realized we loved each other.. and have been happy since..none of the ppl we work with know, and it hasnt effected our jobs yet :) and wen it works, its soo worth it!

    Report Abuse
  • My first name is Peachy!'s Avatar
    Posted by My first name is Peachy! Tue Oct 13, 2009 9:34am PDT

    Um, not to be a pest, but your first sentence reads something about JOHN and Pam? Do you actually watch the office or was it just convenient for you to cite it in your article?

    Report Abuse
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