I’m going to get to the ‘The Hangover’ in a minute. But let me start with the movie that seemingly all other dude comedies are trying to be like: ‘Knocked Up.’
Listen, I love me some Judd Apatow. I could have watched ‘Knocked Up’ seventeen times. (Actually, I think I did watch 'Knocked Up' 17 times. Thanks HBO!) But there was something about the Leslie Mann character that always made me squirm.
See our tips: Justin Timberlake’s Dating Dos & Don’ts
I don’t know. Maybe it was that she plays a castrating, neurotic, vindictive, sexless wife?
And that she was supposed to be some kind of wifely archetype. Her purpose was to show our young, fuzzy and impressionable Ben (played by Seth Rogan) what wives are like, should he decide to make an honest woman out of Alison (played by Katherine Heigl).
Cut to Rachel Harris in ‘The Hangover.’ She plays Melissa, Stu’ girlfriend. And she makes "Knocked Up"'s Debbie look like a barrel of laughs. I mean humorless doesn’t even begin to describe it. She’s not a wife, she’s Gestapo. She may as well wear Stu's manhood around her neck on a lovely gold chain.
Is that how they think guys really feel about their girlfriends? It’s not how my friends feel about their girlfriends.
And then there’s the other wife figure in ‘The Hangover’: the woman who’s supposed to marry the bachelor in this bachelor party movie. She’s painted as the perfect woman, the opposite of Stu's girlfriend. She “lets” her fiancé go to Vegas. She never bothers him when he doesn’t come back when he said he would. And when it looks like he won’t actually make the "wedding" part of the wedding, even though all the guests are there, she tells him, you know, she’s getting a little freaked out.
That’s not a girlfriend. That’s a lobotomy with c-cups.
That’s a modern Stepford Wife. It’s like, as men, we’re supposed to yearn for a human sex doll with no opinions or will of her own, a woman we can introduce to our friends by saying, ‘Isn’t she great! She looks awesome and barely speaks!’
What gives? Were you guys as bummed out about these characters as I was? Did your guy friends dig those movies?
Related: What Men Say vs. What Men Actually Mean
MORE FROM MARRIED JAKE:
- 9 Things He Wishes You’d Do on a Date
- 11 Things Guys Don’t Understand About Women
- The 7 Most Incredible Celebrity Comebacks of All Time
- 9 Things That Keep Every Relationship Going Strong Every Day
Get Glamour Wherever You Go! Follow us on Twitter. Friend us on Facebook. Add us to your Google homepage.
