Parenting

Monday, November 30, 2009

User post: File Under "Get A Real Problem"

High school graduations are a time for fun and celebration. Most kids celebrate it as their first step into freedom and adulthood.

It seems, however, that the Bonny Eagle High School administration was determined to keep tight control over their graduating seniors until the last possible second, even if it meant squeezing every drop of fun out of their commencement ceremony, and denying diplomas to anyone who dared to test just how far they would take their final power struggle.

Frightened by beach balls and silly string from four years prior, Bonny Eagle High School students AND parents were forced to sign an agreement stating that they agreed not to engage in any kind of "disruptive" behavior. So, when Justin Denney bowed and blew a kiss to his mother, he was accused of "showboating" and sent back to his seat without his diploma by superintendent, Suzanne Lukas. 

Lukas has refused to comment except to say that all students signed the agreement and knew what was expected of them at the ceremony. Another student was removed from the ceremony when an inflatable rubber duck was thrown around the sitting students. The audience booed.

Justin's mother is furious with the school and has done tv and press interviews around the country, demanding not only for an apology from superintendent Lukas, but for her to deliver Justin's diploma to him while he's wearing his cap and gown. 

The internet has blow up with blogs and searches about this incident. An article here: http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/92681/a-very-costly-kiss-senior-denied-diploma on yahoo buzz provides links to even more articles. 

This is a terrible way for school administrators to show their authority. Graduation is supposed to be fun. Beach balls and silly string are harmless. As a kid, I never understood why people told me "congratulations" just for graduating from high school, but now that I'm older, and after having worked with kids, especially troubled kids, I know that there are many kids who really struggle and work hard to make it to graduation day. They deserve to be able to celebrate and have fun, as long as their safe. There's nothing dangerous or harmful about an inflatable duck. There's certainly nothing wrong with blowing a kiss to your mother or taking what might have been a very well deserved bow.

I don't know Justin's personal circumstances. I do know, however, that his mother stated that his sick grandparents were there just to see him graduate. This may have been all they and all he wanted. This superindendent had no right to deny him his moment of glory. All my little sister ever wanted was for our father to see her graduate. Our dad died a week before she started her senior year of high school. Graduation day was a sad day for her, but she went, thinking about our dad. 

This woman stole something from these students that they can never get back.  This was all over her need to continue to exert control over people who were no longer going to be under her control. This was over a bow, a blown kiss, and a rubber duck. Get a real problem. 
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Comments 1-10 of 97
  • Habanero♥™'s Avatar
    Posted by Habanero♥™ Wed Jun 17, 2009 4:20am PDT

    Angela: Thanks so much for hooking me up to the Wedding/Cookie story. I skimmed through it and need some coffee to go back and read it.

    I have a lot to say on this topic.......I'll be back!!!!

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  • Habanero♥™'s Avatar
    Posted by Habanero♥™ Wed Jun 17, 2009 7:05am PDT

    I have one more son finishing off High School. I am extremely happy that I will finally be through with the school systems. Over the years I have seen a happy, caring school body turn to a system full of rules and regulations. The handbook takes me an hour to read through and I do not agree on almost anything they have to say.

    My son has decided he is better off not attending after school functions (dances, plays) because it is not worth the hassle and the pat downs that the school is now administering. He received a detention for hugging a girl friend who had just lost her mother in a tragic accident. I hit the roof!!!!!

    About my middle son:

    Anyone who knows my story has heard me speak of one of my sons who "lost" everyone of his high school books. This habit of "losing" his books cost me over a thousand dollars in four years. He refused to read from the books. He felt the school had the obligation to teach and he had the obligation to be able to pass all of his tests. Nothing I said could change him.

    In this boys senior year his teachers, principals and superintendent held a meeting with me explaining this kid’s situation. Because he passed (aced) all of his finals, they had to allow him to graduate. I never had any doubt that he was graduating. He was tutoring some of his classmates. He also took on the entire school administration in a meeting on the school rules and regs. In the long run......he won!!!

    We (all senior parents) signed an agreement that we would not allow our seniors to display any kind of emotion during the ceremony. We agreed to not allow our kids to pass around a beach ball or to use silly string. We also agreed to not clap until the ceremony was over and each grad had received their diploma.

    My husband and I sat through this entire graduation and waited for our son to receive his diploma. He was one of the last because of our name. When he approached the principal and his name was called, the school erupted into a well choreographed repeat of his last name. The students and every teacher chanted his name out and silly string was everywhere. Beach balls were bouncing off of every corner of the ceremonial walls.

    My husband and I never knew that this was about to happen and we were shocked but we understood where these cheerleaders were coming from. HE beat THE SYSTEM.....in his own little way.

    The ceremony was recorded and the next evening it made the news.

    By the way, I paid for the "lost" books (which he dropped off at the book depository each year) the day before the graduation or he was not allowed on stage to receive his diploma.

    I really feel so sorry for the future of kids. There is no more contact dance taught in our school system. We have a no touch policy! Do not touch, do not talk in the lunch room, do not run outside anymore.

    C'mon parents................raise heII !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • kim r's Avatar
    Posted by kim r Wed Jun 17, 2009 7:35am PDT

    Good Grief!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    If only they worried this much about bullying, drugs and gang activity, maybe our schools would be safe.

    However, none of those things are as important than making sure no one cheers at graduation.

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  • Super Abuelita's Avatar
    Posted by Super Abuelita Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:44am PDT

    I agree with kim. It seems as though many schools, have their priorities screwed uo major time!

    All my kids and grandkids have attended public school, and I've had to go head to head with them. This has happened with my children and grandkids.

    My granddaughter age 16 told me that the teachers she had were giving her such easy work, that her nine yr old brother could do it. I talked and talked with one of her counselors, telling him that my granddaughter was not learning anything that would get her into college. He asjed me how I knew she could do the work. I told him because I help her with her homework, and I know what she is capable of doing.

    My granddaughter has alearning disability, but she said to me that because she learned differently, didn't make her stupid.

    My grandson on the other hand had been bullied, until he could take it no more, and fought back. Guess who was kicked out of school? LOL My grandson was, while the other boy was still attending school.

    The assistant principal told me that my grandson had been written up this year. I told her it wasn't because of violent behavior.

    I wish I could have the money to send them somewhere where they felt they were achievers, not losers.

    But, my grandkids know that their family is behind them.

    WE KNOW THEY ARE WINNERS!

    Too bad aministrators and the such, cannot see school through the eyes of our children.

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  • 29_and holding's Avatar
    Posted by 29_and holding Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:39am PDT

    Here in Amarillo the school board recently passed a "rule" that parents were not allowed to cheer for their kiddo as their name was called out. It caused the person in line behind them to not be able to hear their name.

    I say to wait a few moments before you call the next name.

    Graduation is a very exciting for both parents and students. I agree that they need to find bigger more important things for their granny panties to bunch up about.

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  • *CAT*'s Avatar
    Posted by *CAT* Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:43am PDT

    When I was in school it was okayed by the school district for the seniors to 'initiate' newcoming freshman into the school. What I mean by this, shaving cream! yes! they would squirt shaving cream at us! and toliet paper the whole entire campus. It was wild and so much fun. Now, they have security gaurds and medal detectors. Its like a freakin prison. Absolutely not fair at all. I want my kids to experience school being a cool place to go and learn, not a scary place

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  • Doktor Eevol's Avatar
    Posted by Doktor Eevol Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:47am PDT

    Thanks for posting this. Like I said on the thong post, this country has become populated with too many bureaucratic control freaks. I wonder how many of the kids who signed that contract were minor children - whom legally cannot enter into contractual agreements in the first place.

    Yeah, if they're that worried by silly string or rubber ducks, they aren't focusing on the real problems. I wonder how many OTHER problems are going unsolved because of their fixation on totalitarian obedience from their students. Every other week we're seeing kids who are killing themselves because bullies aren't being dealt with properly. I wonder what bully problems this school has that took the back burner to this complete NONissue?

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  • Habanero♥™'s Avatar
    Posted by Habanero♥™ Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:58am PDT

    Kudos to you Doctor Eevol!!!!!

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  • Traezy's Avatar
    Posted by Traezy Wed Jun 17, 2009 11:02am PDT

    After 13 years of school plus 2 of preschool, I should hope my children would be respectful enough to bow and blow me a kiss from stage!

    What an enormous pile of crap!

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  • Habanero♥™'s Avatar
    Posted by Habanero♥™ Wed Jun 17, 2009 11:20am PDT

    Traezy: My son said it was the topic in his geology class today. The teacher said that kid had every reason to do what he did and heads should roll over this.

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