Parenting

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Parents fighting over baby’s fate

A separated couple in London is fighting over their son’s right to live or die.

According to CNN, Baby RB was born with a severe birth defect that leaves him unable to breathe on his own—his lungs fill with fluid every few hours, which makes him feel like he’s choking until doctors suction the fluid from them, which is also a painful process.

While Baby RB’s mother believes (as do the doctors and the hospital) her son should be disconnected from the respirator keeping him alive, the baby’s father has taken the case to court to stop this from happening. He believes that his son might get better with a tracheostomy, and plans to prove that he is able to play and recognize his parents.

So far, Baby RB has been taken off the respirator three times, each time with markedly less success at breathing on his own.

According to lawyers for the hospital, Baby RB’s life is "miserable, sad and pitiful." In a released statement, the hospital calls the case is a  "deeply tragic one," but expresses sympathy for “how difficult the legal process must be for both parents and RB’s extended family and friends” all of whom are “taking these steps because they consider it is in RB's best interests.”

Obviously, the decision to let a child die despite having the technology to keep him alive, or conversely, to let him live in tremendous pain with the hope that his life will become better, is not one that any parent would ever want to face.

What do you think you would do in this situation? Is there a point at which you give up hope in the face of the reality of your child’s pain? Or is that never an acceptable option if there is any way your child can live?

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 20
  • slam's Avatar
    Posted by slam Tue Nov 3, 2009 11:08am PST

    This is a really tough one. My answer would depend on a lot of variables. Is Baby RB a preemie? It's likely he will never be 'normal'. Is dad fighting for what's good for him or good for Baby RB?

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  • ladylalalalalola's Avatar
    Posted by ladylalalalalola Tue Nov 3, 2009 11:13am PST

    I see can see where each of the parents are coming from. The mother and father must be going through a horrible time. Its awful to hear of a baby in this situation. I personally agree with the mother, if the child is in pain and there have been attemps to remove the resporator with no success or even progress this little child shouldnt have to suffer. This is truely sad, I thank God everyday that my little one is safe and healthy, I dont think any parent should have to see their child like this. I hope baby RB's parents are able to come to a decision and be there for each other for there little one regardless of how the outcome happens.

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  • EW's Avatar
    Posted by EW Tue Nov 3, 2009 12:25pm PST

    I am sorry but this is heartbreakin. I almost cried. I could not let my baby suffer like this. Oh god no. I could not let alone know that he was in such pain. My heart goes out to these parents and this baby.

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  • quettia's Avatar
    Posted by quettia Tue Nov 3, 2009 1:46pm PST

    same here

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  • Heather M's Avatar
    Posted by Heather M Tue Nov 3, 2009 2:13pm PST

    Man, I have no idea, all I can do is just pray for this little family and leave it in the hands of the creator. Wow this almost made me cry.

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  • KittyKat's Avatar
    Posted by KittyKat Tue Nov 3, 2009 9:00pm PST

    I hate to say it but I think its best to take the baby off the respirator and send him to a much happier place with God. End the baby's poor suffer cuz in all reality he might never get better. At least in God's arms he has a place where he can be well again.

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  • Mitchie's Avatar
    Posted by Mitchie Tue Nov 3, 2009 9:31pm PST

    i have three children that are very young, this decision is very hard but i would never want to know that im making my child suffer..its not easy to say i want my baby to be free specially when i carried them in my wound for whatever months they were in it...

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  • blueyedmolly's Avatar
    Posted by blueyedmolly Tue Nov 3, 2009 9:50pm PST

    This is such a tragic situation and I'm sure there is alot of agonizing feelings surrounding this little one. I myself have had to endure quite alot of tragedy in my lifetime thank God none of it concerned my children but it has made me stronger and less apt to surfice to what and how my feelings on a subject are affected. I too have to ask if this little ones' father is acting on the better half of the child or on what better serves his own needs. From what I have read here the answer to this question is quite easily answered. His feelings. Now I can't claim to even vaugely place myself in this mans' shoes and I don't even begin to feel the pain he is feeling. This childs mother it seems has come to grips with what needs to be done and she has accepted the outcome. At this terrible time of indifference in their lives I would hope that they could put aside their problems and come together on the right decision for their son. At this time they really need eachother no matter how much they think they don't. Back to the question at hand,"What would I do in this situation?" Even though it would break my heart I really believe I would make the decision to let my baby return to his true parent...God. It seems that the doctors have exhausted their humanly sources to help this little one and it is apparent that his life will be a very painful existance. All I can add is a plea to these parents to come together,support eachother and stop this little ones pain. My prayers are with them both and I hope that they will be there for eachother during this awful time in their lives. God bless the two of them and most impotantly God bless that beautiful little boy.

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  • mel's Avatar
    Posted by mel Tue Nov 3, 2009 11:57pm PST

    poor baby. i feel for both parents. but i have to admit that there seems to be very little if any hope that this child would ever have a normal life. even if he did survive, the outstanding medical problems he will face seem a great stress, emotionally, physically, and financially. i hope to never have to make such a decision for my child. it was hard enough to accept such a decision made for my uncle last month. either way you choose, the guilt is hard to live with.

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  • kv's Avatar
    Posted by kv Wed Nov 4, 2009 6:29am PST

    I hope and pray that this little baby survives this. He is already alive and is obviously strong enough to survive all of this. He will be a brave person one day, I hope. And the father must of gotten the conclusion that there is a treatment ("tracheostomy") from a doctor (someone that knows what they are talking about) obviously. I think that if there is a hope, why not just try a little to give this little baby the opportunity to have a life? I don't think he is being selfish; I just think he truely wants his baby to live. IFF this child were to survive this treatment, what will the mother tell him when he gets older and sees she was trying to disconnect him from the respirator only after a few tries of trying to keep him alive? I'm trying to put myself in both parents shoes and I'm sure the pain is unbarable...Poor mom and dad. I hope God helps them both see what the right decision for their baby is. :(

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Comments 1-10 of 20

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