Open Letter From an Abandoned Child

From the Community…

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  Posted by Eagleshield Mon Nov 2, 2009 10:10pm PST

  This letter should be plastered all over the place. It could have been written by any child. I know my daughter feels this way because her father moved out of the state after our divorce to another with his new girlfriend (now wife) and never said goodbye or called - despite knowing where we were. Screw the abandoners! They will die lonely deaths without their children by their sides.

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  Posted by blueyedmolly Mon Nov 2, 2009 10:26pm PST

  You know your post brought tears to my eyes. Not because I am an aboandoned child but because every day I wonder if that is what my daughter and son think of me. I didn't abandon my children,they were taken away from me. And when I say taken away I mean kidnapped. When my daughter was 3 1/2 my son 8 monthes I had to reach out to my now exs mother to help me out. My ex and I had been separated for about 11 monthes when I found myself without a job. I had an opportunity for a new job in another state and that is when I turned to my then mother-in-law. Even though her son and I had been separated for awhile my children were still very close to their grandmother. Their father was a drug addict. My exs' mom and I tried to maintain a relationship not only because they didn't have a father in their life but because both of my parents were deceased so they really only had one grandparent. I am a "family" kind of person and I felt like my kids deserved to know their grandma. Anyway, she agreed to help me out while I went to this job interview in another state. She said that the kids could stay with her while I secured the job and made living arrangements. I'm thinking that this is perfect.You see she had never given me any reason to distrust her. I figure the whole thing is going to take probably a week maybe a week and a half. I call home to speak to my kids(my daughter mainly because my son is too little to talk) and everything is working out great until the fifth day when I call and am informed that the phone is no longer in service. I panic. I make calls to others to try and find out what's going on but all anyone can tell me is that they are gone. GONE I ask them what do you mean GONE? I gave up on the job and new home and hurried back only to find that my children are in fact gone. It's been almost 6 years now and I am still searching for them. I have done everything necessary to find them and now all I can do is wait and pray that they will come home to me. My daughter was old enough to remember me but I'm afraid that my son won't. Everytime the phone rings or I get a letter in the mail that is unexpected my heart jumps into my throat. I still to this day cannot understand why this woman would do this to me and especially my children...children that she claimed to love and care about. I go to sleep every night praying for them to come home and I wake up every morning hoping that this had been just a bad dream and I'm going to find them sleeping safely in their beds. My home now has bedrooms for them. They have a playroom,a big backyard with everything imaginable. My husband now watches me suffer and he says he feels my pain. He wants to adopt them as soon as we find them. So when I read your post my eyes cried,my heart wept and my knees went weak. Please if I may send them a message through your post I would be eternally thankful. Please Please Savannah and Phoenix don't give up and don't ever think that mommy has stopped looking. I haven't. I will search for you til the end of time. No matter what anyone and I mean anyone tells you please believe that I'm still out here and I do want you. I NEVER GAVE YOU AWAY. I love you both with all of my heart and I'm awaiting your return home to me,your two other brothers and your new daddy. Be safe my babies and always remember I LOVE YOU. Your MOM, Marijo

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  Posted by martza Tue Nov 3, 2009 10:50am PST

  :`( .... some of us sometimes dont see how lucky we are to have not one parent but two. im so lucky! defenetly going to appreciate more, show more, love more, more and more than what im already apreciating, showing and loving. love my parents!

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  Posted by Linda W Tue Nov 3, 2009 12:29pm PST

  I really connected with your post. It was so heartfelt and touching. I'm sorry for your mother abandoning you. I used to feel that way as a child. It made me a really strong adult. I would die for my children. I would do anything to be with my children. I loved your post it helped me realize who I am as a mother, and how I can improve who I am and be even better. Thank you. I will pray for you.

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  Posted by rockin' mom Tue Nov 3, 2009 12:45pm PST

  marijo, my heart hurts for you. i can't imagine how hard day to day life is for you....i'll be thinking about you and hoping that one day you will find them.....

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  Posted by Nicole Tue Nov 3, 2009 1:21pm PST

  I know how you feel...I just recently learned that the man I knew as my father is not my biological father. My Mother tells me that my father didn't want anything to do with me. After 30 years I feel like my whole life is one big lie. I feel empty inside and I can't talk about it with anyone because I feel humiliated. I do want to know who my father is...I mean he made a mistake...doesn't he deserve a second chance? If anyone knows Ralph Serrano from Chicago tell him that the daughter he denied over 30 years ago is looking for him!

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  Posted by Maria T Tue Nov 3, 2009 3:26pm PST

  my heart goes out to the woman who's kids were taken from her. thats awful that you trusted this woman and she betrayed you and your children. i will keep you in my prayers from one mother to another. my husband and i both grew up with out our fathers in our lives and as much as it hurt us as children , it has made us better parents. we feel everything happens for a reason in this life . its interesting because i struggled my entire life to try and have a relationship with my father but it wasn't until he was ready. i guess he had to reach that point in his life where he realized on all the things he missed out on. when i had my children i think tha'ts when the light bulb when off for him. karma is interesting to see first hand and i had the chance to see it with my dad. i have a half sister a little younger than i who also has children , the difference between us is my dad was married to my mother my dad wasn't married to my half sisters mother. she was invited to a family function showed her face for 5 minutes and left. the next day i was with my dad when someone asked him how many kids and grandkids he had. he gave him the total but mentioned that his other daughter didn't want anything to do with him in that moment i saw the hurt and pain in his eyes. karma gave me that glimpse to make up for all the same pain and hurt i felt as a child. i understand why she doesn't want anything to do with him. for a long time i didn't want anything to do with him either but i can't get away from the fact that he is still my father and without him i wouldn't exist. i was holding on to all that negativity and it was just a waste.

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  Posted by kellyb Tue Nov 3, 2009 5:38pm PST

  that is so sad. It made me cry a little.

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  Posted by blueyedmolly Tue Nov 3, 2009 6:27pm PST

  Thank-you rockinmom for placing me in yout prayers. I know that one day soon I will be reunited with my little ones and what a grand reunion it will be! My heart also goes out to all of you out there that have never known one or maybe even two of your parents be it for whatever reason and my prayers are with you all. This coming from someone on the otherside. LOVE and PRAYERS TO ALL OF YOU MAY YOU ALL FIND HAPPINESS. Love always,Marijo

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  Posted by blueyedmolly Tue Nov 3, 2009 6:58pm PST

  Oh and please don't think that I've excluded you Maria T from my thoughts and my prayers. It is funny how all of our lives we try so hard to understand things and eventually one day it jumps up and slaps us in the face. I'm so glad that you got the answers that you needed and I sincerely hope that your beautiful babies realize just how lucky they are to have you and your husband in their lives. HUGZZZZ TO YOU,Marijo

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