Dating while pregnant

From the Community…

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  Posted by Cursed Romantic Tue Jul 7, 2009 6:37pm PDT

  Good grief, I can see why the world is so messed up the way it is. It is all kinds of narrow minded folks that judge the hell out of folks they don't even know. Heck this woman could have intentionally used invitro to have her OWN child, without having to marry someone to get a child. She also likely had taken all the health measures, safety precautions, and even preparing the baby room and had docs available when she was pregnant. So after doing all that why should she overly focus in on the baby? I mean I have read posts on other websites where there are women saying they can't stand mothers that are so absorbed into their child or pregnancies and now I read that there are women that can't stand that she isn't? That doesn't make any sense to me at all. When you have done as much as you can, your life still has to move forward.

  As for the comments about what kind of dude would date a pregnant woman, it is clearly obvious one that sees BEYOND her belly to her personality. I mean my goodness the man probably genuinely cared about her as a person. Why is that so freaking hard to believe? Personality and character don't vanish because you have a baby or pregnant. And it should not matter what kind of child care the woman may have chosen to have. If that is her decision to have child care then it is her business and not folks that don't know the chick.

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  Posted by ArthurD Tue Jul 7, 2009 9:15pm PDT

  I am 8 and a half months pregnant. I am a stay at home mom and I have a 2 year old son. I have been with his father for the past 3 years and 2 months. I love him and want to stay with him and raise our daughter who is on her way and my son. My sons father decides to tell me not even a week ago that he wants to seperate and break up. Because all we do is argue and that it is not good for the children. I am 20 years old he just turned 20 in June. We are considered common law marriage. He has told me several times that we are broken up. I have cried for the past week now. I have cried because I cannot think of how I can possibly raise my children by myself. I have cried because I have nowhere to go. Now do you think he should be able to decide that he wants to do this to me right now out of all the possible times he could have told me this. Do you think I would want to be single and have two children left behind with me. I have raised my son since the day he was born no daycare, and I rarely had anyone watch him other than myself. If so it was his either one of his grandmas.And that was when I had doctors appointments. I have not gone out and went and enjoyed myself at all and done things any other 20 year old would do. Because I enjoy raising my beautiful child and watching him grow. I take him everywhere with me. I am on Wic and recieve foodstamps and medicaid for my son and for myself for this pregnancy and for my sons. But my sons father has a job and he has had a job since my son was born. He has supported us while I watched my son. So my son would not be taken to a daycare. What is wrong with being a stay at home mom? When my son is healthy, smart, strong and happy. He learns so many new things each day. My daughter is healthy as well. I want to be with my sons father but he doesnt want me. So what can I possibly do if I do become a single mom of two if I have tried to keep the relationship going for the children. What is there to do when he wants to give up his responsibilities so he can just go and do whatever he wants. I also am going to an online school and have recieved an A in my classes so far. All this while being pregnant taking care of a two year old non stop 24/7 no daycare no drop offs to grandma. The only time he is not with me is when I ask his dad to watch him while I go to doctors appointments, which I have to get to by taking the bus. I got pregnant my senior year in High School. Never thought of adoption or abortion. Never. I had to do whatever I could to get my son to be healthy and to take care of the bills and things for the hospital. I had a job until I was 7 and a half months pregnant. I graduated with honors from my High School when I had him a month before graduation. I even walked the stage. So if I am on welfare with him it makes me a bad person since I sit at home all day supposedly. I am getting an education so one day I can pay back all the welfare that I got. But does it make me a bad person if I stand in line when I am about to pop to make sure that my son has food in his stomach and that my daughter is healthy because I have medicaid to cover doctors visits. Is it so wrong that I was never married and that I love my son completely and my daughter too. So I should just give him up for adoption because I am not married. So that way he will not ever get the love that I give him and maybe be passed on from person to person. No I would never give my son or daughter up just because I am not married does not mean I do not love his father and him and my daughter completely.

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  Posted by Misty Fri Jul 17, 2009 1:41pm PDT

  Wow, some of you people have some SEVERE issues! I am currently pregnant with my second child and single and guess what? I've dated during my pregnancy and I've also (God Forbid) had sex!!! Oh no!! It's the end of the world, I'm a terrible mother and my children are going to be miserable and need counseling because of me! Seriously, grow up! I bet I am a much better mother than a lot of the women who look down at me cause I have dated while pregnant. Hey, it's not my fault the piece of crap father didn't stick around. Oh and by the way both of my kids are from the same man....wow I'm such a w----. I'm sorry but I don't need to sit around on my ass for 9 months "preparing to be a mother" Why not get out and have a little fun as long as my responsibilities to my kids are being put first? We aren't living in the 1920's anymore. Pregnant women are strong and beautiful and have just as much of a right to date and have sex as anyone else...for God's sake pregnancy is not a disease, it's a blessing!! Do you want to know what kind of man dates a pregnant woman? A REAL man!

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  Posted by Crystal Mon Jul 27, 2009 1:49pm PDT

  I am 30 weeks pregnant and dating a FANTASTIC guy that if I hadn't given him a chance I dont know where I would be right now. He has been a HUGE confidence booster and very understanding and caring. I suggest dating if your single and pregnant but watch out for signs of a jerk! But i found a winner and he even is willing to be there in the room when I have my daughter. He wants to be there to help raise her and everything! :)

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  Posted by Shawn Tue Jul 28, 2009 9:09am PDT

  My standpoint on this is that I’ve never been emotionally prepared to be a father to a young child or a baby. So this poses some incompatibility between me and an expecting mother-to-be.

  But another perspective I have on this is given that she’s recently had a sexual relationship with another guy, is she truly (((emotionally available))) to develop and nurture relational intimacy with me?

  So many people go from one sexual relationship or sexual encounter to the next with very little or no strings attached. Such people tend to compartmentalize their sexuality which is something else that defines incompatibilities between me and such a woman. But if a pregnant woman has endured a very emotionally painful separation from the father of her child, then to this point in her pregnancy, I can’t really see how she’s had enough time to heal, forgive, and recover from such separation trauma.

  But one thing I couldn’t expect from a pregnant woman is for her to tell me she’s pregnant within the first few minutes of meeting me. Actually, I think she’d be foolish to share such personal information with a guy who’s really a complete stranger to her.

  Anywho, wishing everyone a beautiful day!

  Peace, Love and Harmony,,, Shawn

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  Posted by Jessi Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:30am PST

  OMG! I can't believe there are so many people on here stating that she made a mistake in getting pregnant before marriage, and therefore she is unworthy to date? Excuse me? Save the judgement for your owm lives people! You've never made a mistake? Yeah, right! Don't go getting all stuck up and "greater than thou," that makes you ten times worse than the woman in question. Live and let live, worry about your own lives and the future problems you will face due to your narrow minded ignorance.

  Every woman should be thankful that we now have the rights to make these choices. Some of us seem to forget that not too long ago we had no rights and now that we do, some of us seem to be getting a little self-righteous by passing judgement on each other.

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