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I grew up in a Commonwealth country, where school uniforms are much more common than they are here. This particular gem was designed in 1922 and remains exactly the same to this day. A dress in a singular palette of briny teal and khaki, that uniform is even more appalling than it appears, and it's worn with unspeakably silly beige ankle-socks and thick orthopedic-y lace-up brown shoes. But you know what? If I had the choice I'd make Crabkid wear one too. Because when everyone is in the same ugly garb, it can be a beautiful thing. I saw you choke on your McMuffin, but I'm being dead-serious. I'm as seriously pro-uniform as my uniform is seriously ugly.
For one, it's great for Mom. There's no morning tussle
with your tot over what to wear, no hunt for the pink Dora
corduroys or the striped orange sweater your tyke won't leave
home without. When there are no choices, you put on the
gad-awful dang uniform like everyone else and go to school looking
like a dork. And after years of looking like a dork (my
school went from first through twelfth grade!), you no longer
notice or care so much about it. Because there's nothing you
can do about it. And everyone you know is in the same dorky boat.
An open letter to the color pink: How Crabkid's favorite color has made life difficult.
We all know the counter-argument. What about self-expression? What about individuality? I'm going to get un-Crabmommylike and be corny when I tell you I believe those things come from within, especially if you can't show them on the outside. I would know: when you're decked out in a terrible off-teal tunic with a khaki diamond down the front, it behooves you to reach deep for your inner coolness and personality, which kids will express, no matter what they're made to wear. And the best part about uniforms? For five days a week nobody can have a better wardrobe than anyone else, which means your charm and style depend on what you say and do and think rather than on what brand of jeans your parents can afford.
Look, I love clothes same as the next girl, and I always loved wearing my own gear after school and on weekends, and yes, even a prison jumpsuit would have felt like Prada when compared with that shocking frock! I still can't believe those twits haven't redesigned it! But when I look back at these ridiculous photos I feel humbled by the hideousness of it all, and touched to think that I lived through decades of the worst dress in history and survived, arguably the better for it. Thankfully I was allowed, at least, to have my own personal choice expressed in that very cool, very happening hairstyle. Come to think of it, it's no wonder I feel nostalgic when I collect acorns with Crabkid...
Would you be into it if your school wanted to switch to uniforms? Or does your kid wear one already at his/her school? Do share.
No uniforms at your school? Keep your your kids neatly dressed in
these classic fall ensembles.
p.s. Can't get enough of Crabmom in my uni? Go here.
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