Boy or girl: Did you have gender disappointment?

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  Posted by Jessica Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:44pm PDT

  I feel that it should be acceptable to talk about gender disappointment. When I was pregnant I only wanted a boy, which I got thankfully but i remember sitting 16 weeks pregnant waiting for the sonographer to tell what I was going to have and the joy I felt when she said it's most definitely a little boy. But my point being that the thought crossed my mind what if it was a girl and honestly I felt bad and ashamed at myself for feeling so happy, because all I should have felt was joy that he was thriving and growing. I felt like I acomplished something for making a boy for myself but mostly for my husband. And what makes me ashamed is that I know I would have felt like I let myself and him down if it was a girl. It's important for women that go through gender disappointment to know is that it's ok to feel this way at first because you have this dream in your head of what your baby will be and it s almost like your getting let down. But if they feel that pain and work though it they should be able to reach a happy point about what they are having.

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  Posted by DamarisA Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:09pm PDT

  I have 3 beautiful little girls, and i am pregnant with my 4th baby. It would be a lit for me to say that I am not hoping for a boy. When we found out baby 3 was a girl, my husband was actually upset and left the room! I told him I didnt want to get pregnant again if he can't face the facts that we might get another girl. We find out on Friday. Honestly, I think I will be disappointed. Its a wonderful feeling to have babies, and I love all my kids. If it turns out to be a girl, we will love her, we will be disappointed for a few days, and then we will embrace it. And when the day comes when we have her, it won't matter anyway. I wish it was ok to talk about gender disappointment, and not automatically get the "you should be happy to get pregnant! Some women cant!" argument.

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  Posted by DamarisA Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:10pm PDT

  lie...not lit...

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  Posted by LuLuBee Wed Oct 28, 2009 6:43am PDT

  DamarisA Please come back and let us know what the gender of your baby is! I'm intrigued! lol.

  As for me I am almost 9 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and I am desperately hoping for a girl, but if it's a boy I will be disappointed but I know I'll get over it. But I really really hope it's a girl!

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  Posted by Mammina Wed Oct 28, 2009 7:45am PDT

  When my little girl was born I was really happy cause I always wanted to have a girl, I think my husband was a bit disappointed but it vanished within 2 minutes when he held her in his arms and fell in love with her. Next time round I hope for a boy but if its another girl I m sure we ll love her just the same. Remember kids aren't at fault if they are a girl or a boy. They just need to be loved.

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  Posted by Not a one Wed Oct 28, 2009 7:54am PDT

  It took me and my husband a while to get pregnant so we are just so happy to actually be having a baby that we didn't care what the baby was. We did find out that we're having a baby girl in December and couldn't be happier! But again, boy or girl would have been wonderful- as long as the baby is healthy we're just so happy to finally be bringing a new life into the world!

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  Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Wed Oct 28, 2009 8:59am PDT

  I have five boys, and am so glad that I do. That being said, I know I would have been dissapointed at first if any of them had been a girl ( after the first one) , but would quickly have gotten used to the idea. I also know that once the baby was born I would have absolutely loved and adored my daughter.

  I have always been enchanted by the dynamics of same sex siblings, there is a bond and very special comraderie when they are all the same sex, so that's why I was so excited that all of mine are boys.

  I do hate, hate, HATE when people ask if we were trying for a girl, as if boys aren't good enough. It makes me nuts. Especially if they ask in front of my boys. When people ask in front of my boys I make a point to let them( my boys) hear me reply emphatically "NO!".

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  Posted by Brandy D Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:03pm PDT

  I don't have a child yet, but really want a girl. Is it wrong of me to want to do invitro just so I can make sure it is a girl?

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  Posted by starfedra Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:14pm PDT

  My friend and I were pregnant at the same time, my first her 3rd, we both wanted a girl, especially my friend after 2 boys she really wanted a baby girl, I had a girl she had a boy, after that little by little she started being distant and not the same, after a few months she finally stop talking to me, I think it was gender disappointment and me having a girl did not help, it is not right but I understand her, I wish she would have talked to me about it before ending our friendship.

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  Posted by Lora Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:19pm PDT

  The couple have to accept that it's God's will not theirs, if they trust in him and are willing to accept that couples aren't given a choice, if they complain and feel disappointed, they are selfish and should not be having children.

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