by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor (Make Mine A Double)
Every evening my husband and I traipse around the house trying to at least clear a path to the couch so we can watch TV without bruising ourselves. Even if the floor is devoid of toys, we still can’t walk barefoot unless we want to have dirty feet from the crumbs and dirt the babies trekked in from the park. Something needs to change. We have someone who comes in to clean once every two weeks to protect our house from incubating the hauntavirus but an hour after she’s left you’d never know she’s been here. It’s not enough; we need live-in help.
And this is where I have a genius idea: We’re buying a Roomba. Why didn’t I think of this earlier? Maybe it’s because until today I only had a vague idea of what a Roomba is. I had a vague notion of a rogue robot vacuum cleaner that “senses” dirt and attacks but it sounded so futuristic that I hadn’t actually realized they’re already available to the general public. I thought perhaps they’re still in the stage where only astronauts can own them or scientists with a special license. But today I wandered through Bed, Bath & Beyond and I came upon a display of Roombas with an accompanying in-store commercial. Turns out these little guys are domesticated and ready to bring home for personal use. I watched the video and Roomba looked downright harmless just spinning around like a big Ms. Pac-Man gobbling up crayon bits and orange Nerds while avoiding coffee table legs like it’s its job. But obviously you don’t plunk down three hundred bucks (minus 20% because I have a coupon) on a robot without doing a little research. The first clerk who approached looked kind of worried when I said I had questions and he quickly sent over a woman who I guess is more versed with the robots.
Raising preemie twin girls plus a sassy preschooler while trying to make a book deadline isn't for wussies. In her Mommy Tracked column, Make Mine a Double, Stefanie Wilder-Taylor takes imperfect parenting to an art form. Each week she breaks the pristine laws of the mommy manuals as she reveals how she attempts to parent her three children through instinct, intelligence, and a lot of trial and error. She is the author of Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay, Naptime Is the New Happy Hour, and It's Not Me, It's You: Subjective Recollections from a Terminally Optimistic, Chronically Sarcastic and Occasionally Inebriated Woman. She’s appeared numerous times on The Today Show, is a member of the Us Weekly Fashion Police and writes on her blog, Baby On Bored.
