The 7 Words Used To Describe My Relationship

From the Community…

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  Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:19am PDT

  TL,

  yup!! that describes our relationship for sure!

  I just took a glance at this new blog before going to work and all of the terms you used fits us to a T.

  I am sorry I don't have the time to elaborate right now on this as I usually do but as soon as I get back and after I settle in then I will take more time to comment on this great new blog of yours my love.

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  Posted by wildchild Sat Oct 31, 2009 7:40am PDT

  Hello TL Happy Holloweenie to you. Give sissy sugar's for me. And have a great day and a very spooky night.

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  Posted by Tender Love Sat Oct 31, 2009 9:38am PDT

  FC,

  You are very welcome. Now I want you to give me 7 words to describe our relationship.

  Happy Halloween to you to Wild!!!

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  Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Sat Oct 31, 2009 1:07pm PDT

  TL,

  Ok, you asked for it so I am providing you with my own perceptions of teh components we had in our relationship which makes it so special wtih comparison to others.

  1. We are able to have good communication.

  We can talk freely to eachother without feeling persecuted or belitteled. We also listent to eachother which is a very important aspect to the communication. Our relationship is based on recipricocity. We are very complementary towards eachother and complement eachother regularly, and also provide eachother with nurturance and love.

  Talking to your partner about all sorts of things, especially about how you are doing with each other is essential. There is simply no way around it. If you don't talk about yourself, your dreams, your gripes, your fears and your hopes for your relationship, how would your partner know about any of these things? Your understanding of your partner and yourself in the relationship can only grow through communication. Otherwise it is easy to be left with your own worst assumptions, which are often based on difficult past experiences.

  Me and TL are able to do this which makes our relationship extra special.

  2. We share power equally

  The best relationships are those in which both partners feel powerful and heard. Remember that you are working together with your partner as a team. You are not running a race against each other. You only win when both of you are happy. If you manage to out-run your partner all the time, so that you win and he or she loses, you will both lose in the end. Relationships only work when both of you win. To make this happen, both you and your partner need to have an equal say in what happens. Dominating your partner or being dominated may feel safer in the short run, but will create a lot of problems in the future.

  Me and TL both have equal say and are not competitive towards eachother, rahter we have been very patient and understanding towards eachother.

  3. We Experience good times together

  Relationships can get really serious and bogged down in difficulties. When work pressure builds up, children need things constantly, and other duties are pressing, it is easy for a relationship to become a mere work arrangement. Relationships thrive on fun times together. Being able to laugh and joke together some of the time will build up emotional resources between the two of you for times when things get tough. Me and TL make sure we have some easy, relaxed and playful times together with chatting and writting here on Shine. This will become memories me and him will both cherish for a long long time.

  4. We invest time in each other

  Our lives can be too busy, simply keeping up with work and all the necessary jobs that can take up so much time. We make sure we keep some time just for your relationship. I will need time with my TL to re-connect and to catch up with all the little things which are happening in his life. The time we spend together is precious, even if we end up arguing! At least the two of us are trying to get closer and to work things out. Having time for your partner is essential!

  5. We respect each other and eachother's differences

  This is often a tricky one! When we fall in love with another person we may feel like they're amazingly similar to ourselves. But, as we get to know them and the hard work of the relationship really begins, we find out how totally different they really are. We may try and change them to make them more like ourselves, but, in the end we have to accept that they are difference. I know TL will always be different to me, think differently, and do things differently - and that needs to be OK with us. To feel loving and close to someone who is very different involves acceptance. Honoring that difference and even cherishing it will bring respect and love into our relationship.

  6.Be emotionally available

  Me and TL are able to be and feel and think as a seperate person while also feel a sense of connectedness and togetherness.

  We all want to feel supported and cherished in our relationships. For that to happen we need to allow our partner to make an emotional impact on us. We need to be open to each other, rather than cut off and be distant. For many people it is difficult to show their emotional sides, their vulnerabilities as well as their joys. Being emotionally available means responding to your partner emotionally and practically, which is what me and TL have.

  7.Don't avoid arguments

  Me and TL do not avoid arguments. Arguments are necessary and can be extremely useful. There is no way you will always agree with your partner on matters of real importance over the next fifty years! It is impossible not to argue at some point if both of you want to be heard. Arguing can be really productive as it means you both get to know each other and yourselves better. You may need to go over an issue many times till all has been said, but as long as you learn something new about your partner and yourself each time, this is time well spent and will be great work in creating a good relationship together.

  8. Put your partner first

  TL and I have been putting eachother first above all other figures in our lives.

  Your partner is the main attachment figure in your life, maybe with the exception of your children if you have them. Make sure you put him or her first. He or she is your family now, the main person in your life, the one who you have chosen to be with. That means you need to value him or her in your life and treat him or her accordingly. Sometimes old relationships can intrude on the relationship with your partner, such as old friends or family. Remember though that your partner is your future and you need to invest in your future, even if that means letting go a little bit of your old loyalties to others.

  9. Stay emotionally separate

  The above statement may sound strange. However, staying emotionally separate individual is about not merging with your partner, but keeping healthy boundaries. Ultimately, we are all separate individuals and we all need to be able to manage our emotions separately. Just because your partner is feeling something doesn't mean you have to feel it or automatically react to him or her. Staying emotionally separate is the opposite of a co-dependent relationship where both partners need each other to regulate their emotions or self-esteem in some way. This type of enmeshed relationship is not healthy. Staying emotionally separate means that you take full responsibility for yourself and your emotions. When we do this we are free to connect to our partners, because we want to not because we need to.

  Finally, I know you only asked me for 7 words to describe us but I included 2 extras and I hope you like them. :)

  I love you,

  FC

  PS: Happy Halloween to you TL, to Wild and all!!!!!!!!!:)

  Pleae no tricks only treats........lol

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  Posted by Francoise Sat Oct 31, 2009 5:03pm PDT

  Hey TL,

  I am writting to let you know that I love you. I am looking forward to chat with you soon, as I miss you immensely.

  FC

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  Posted by Tender Love Sat Oct 31, 2009 10:19pm PDT

  My Beautiful FC,

  I know I speak for the masses when I say that you are amazing. I love my little purple cutie's comment.

  Who would not want what you described above?

  All I can add to such a beautiful and well thought out response is that it is what we call LOVE. Love is the glue that binds all the parts of our relationship described above together. If one is lacking then Love will easily replace it untill it is there. It is a very powerful force that can only get stronger. The one key part that is missing is the physical. However, the body always ages but the mind and heart grow stronger. And that is where Love originates and matures. The physical just helps to validate it.

  I love you FC because you are a very bright and intelligent woman with a warm heart. You know what you talk about when you speak. Someone once told me that you need to be with someone who you can talk to and laugh with because when you grow old that is the most important to live for. I have found that one.

  I will always be devoted to something so beautiful as what you just described above and I am happy that you are the one who showed it to me.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-idDbIfGvw

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  Posted by Tender Love Sat Oct 31, 2009 10:46pm PDT

  I will now add two more.

  Everything you have described above is fueled by two more words.

  Passion: Without passion we would not be this far. We are very passionate people and when we set our minds to something we want, and need, we do not let go. Our passion for each other is what drives us to push each other to be the best at everything we described above. Once you loose the passion for something then it becomes pointless. However, our passion burns steadily like lava within a volcano waiting to erupt. It is always burning. The fire never goes out.

  Hope: We never stop believing in each other. We always hope for the best and prepare for the worse. If you loose hope in life you miss out on your dreams. To remain hopeful is too always have a dream. I always hoped for a person like FC. Now that I have her I always hope for a brighter tomorrow to spend with her. If we lost hope in each other we would loose our dream of being together.

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  Posted by Francoise Sun Nov 1, 2009 5:45am PST

  TL,

  I awoke and got to view your post briefly before heading out to church and I so agree with these last 2 additional elements you included my love. YOU are so very motivated and very upbeat as well as so intelligent and exciting which really keeps me loving you the more with each passing day.

  I will respond more elaborately, but for now i agree that passion and hope are the 2 most important aspects that kept us going and staying strong bonded together.

  I hope you have a good morning and good day. I will look forward to chatting with you later and posting a more in depth comment here. :) I now know you don't mnind and actually appreciate them so this is encouraging. :)

  Love you,

  FC

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  Posted by Francoise Sun Nov 1, 2009 5:49am PST

  Woops!! i just realized you also had another comment to mine which was very touching and I will add my response to that one as well.

  Wow! I am feeling like I am walking on air today so THIS MUST BE LOVE. lol

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  Posted by Francoise Sun Nov 1, 2009 5:55am PST

  btw! Thanks for the song-Unchained melody, which i loved so much and still do it is a song that touches your heart and soul and leaves you breadthless. It is also connected to our love for eachother that for me has meanings of hope, love, peace and harmony within our relationship which is so darn romantic and everlasting love that brings joy to my life.

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