One day, I turned around and realized that I was alone and tired, but I had no one that would carry my heavy luggage. No one wanted the burden. Many people had their own luggage. So I had to keep dragging it along throughout my life and allowing the contents to keep holding me back because although I took it everywhere, it wasn’t wanted anywhere. With tearful eyes, I dropped to my knees, in faith, and prayed for God to help me with this problem. What was I to do?
There was one little word that flooded my heart and invaded my heavy spirit. That word was forgive. I huffed and refused. Why would I? That’s cowardly of me to let the people that hurt me the most off the hook. I can’t ... I won’t. I’d been carrying the luggage so long anyways that I didn’t need anyone to help me. Sure, it would be nice but ... forget it. The contents of my luggage protected me from everyone. So I picked up the tattered handle and dragged my luggage around a little longer until I realized that it was wearing me down. My heart was heavy and I was sad. I wasn’t moving at the pace I could have if I didn’t have this big, heavy piece of burdensome luggage, and when I opened it, oh, look out! I prayed again, in faith, that God would answer me. He did, but the same little word came, yet again, forgive.
I was deeply troubled because I knew that if I did … forgive … it meant that everything I’d been through was for nothing. Everyone that hurt me and caused me great pain got off the hook. Just like that they would be forgiven for everything they did to me. What about my pain and suffering? Surely I wasn’t going to let anyone off the hook. So … you guessed it, a few more long years passed with me dragging my luggage. Although I was a bit unhappier because of mistrust, doubt and anger, I felt safe with my luggage. The contents sure caused a lot of problems and losses. There came a point when I wasn’t confident it was worth keeping that luggage anymore so I prayed, again. This time, I opened my heart and asked God to help me, because it was too big a task for me to take on alone. He did, as He had before and it was a process I was finally willing to undertake. I had nothing to lose but mistrust, doubt and a lot of anger.
I didn’t forget anything that happened to me as a child but I realized how many years I wasted dragging that luggage. The forgiving wasn’t for anyone other than me. They’d probably forgotten what they did to me or perhaps they had asked to be forgiven at some point. Some of the people that hurt me I never even saw again but, I thought the burden of carrying that luggage was protecting me. It wasn’t. It was destroying me. Just me. I had wasted years, for nothing. Why was I so determined to be angry when I had a whole wonderful life ahead of me to enjoy with the past long behind me with each waking day.
It wasn’t until I let the word forgive have true significance in my life that I began to truly live. I was able to let go of that luggage and take any flight I wanted without penalty of that heavy bag. The power mistrust, doubt and anger have are destructive. The act of forgiving someone is an amazing release to your spirit. When I did, I realized the pain in my past allowed me to help others in my future. Forgive. Try it soon. Don’t waste your valuable life the way I did.
Love & Blessings,
Marala Scott
P.S. - Is there anything you want God to forgive you for?
