Manage Your Life

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

WHAT NOW?! A DAY OUT & "DON'T DO" # 14

 
 WHAT NOW?!



Good Morning!
The sun was shining all day  long, the trees are turning amazing shades of reds and golds, the Indian Summer is still in the air for the day and I’m feeling positive, how about you? So I start the whole “getting ready to leave the house” routine, right. The shower, hair washing and conditioning, the body moisturizers, the 15 hair products I need to use to make my hair look even one tenth of what it did when I was younger almost for got the er! Never admit to being old but you can always say I’m a little older now. Some times that’s obvious because you try and get out of a chair and can’t stand up straight immediately (you can mask that by pretending you’re looking for something on the floor) or you start moving and the joints in your knees and hips are screaming, “slow done dummy”, while you smile and ignore the pain until you’re alone in the elevator or out of sight of others and then you grimace and rub your leg or back. Anyway, getting back to the “getting ready to go out” ritual. I finish with the hair, finally, and start looking for something to wear. I kept all those clothes I wore when I was 25, well, maybe I’ve even added a few because I can’t wrap my head around the fact that I’m……older! So I try on and change outfits 25 times and spend another 30 minutes on my make-up. It never fails, gals, just go out one time to run a quick errand without your hair and make-up and you will run into 10 people you either know or wish you knew.

 

Ah, there it is: DON’T DO # 14!

If you don’t want to go through the “going out ritual” make sure you only go to
drive thru’s for picking up prescriptions, drive thru banking or maybe a friend’s
house when you are absolutely positive that no one else is dropping by! Of
course, you just might be one of those lucky women of a certain age” who
still looks flawless by just brushing your hair and walking out the door. If you
are, you know the rest of us hate you! Just kidding.

So, after the ritual, I decided yesterday to try another adventurous lone meal out, especially since it was such a gorgeous day so I decided to go somewhere that
 had a nice view even if I couldn’t sit outside due to it being a little chilly. I found a rooftop where I could look out over the city and being alone I sat at the bar. Like
most people, I started a conversation with the young woman working behind the
bar and the more we talked, as the place got busier and began filling up I
wondered if bartenders get tired of having to be “entertaining”. It seemed to
me that this particular young woman was trying to be everything that each
individual customer wanted her to be, sweet (for those patrons of a certain
age
), sexy (for all those young men vying for her attention), fast and professional
(for all of those business types entertaining clients) and also a everybody’s
mom, sister, girlfriend, psychiatrist and best friend.
WHEW! Guess what, so
do we ladies! I realized something I should have known long ago, we do that
all the time, try to be sexy, efficient, the family psychiatrist, great cooks, well
read and interesting, best friends when needed, sisterly advisors and terrific
lovers (should we actually get the opportunity to share that particular skill with
a real live breathing person whom might appreciate it)! That’s exactly what we
do every single day.

Ah, but that is part of the on-going joy of being a woman, yes? I’ll be honest, I
wouldn’t trade places with any of the guys I’ve known or met. I can’t imagine
what they must go through, I mean all that crotch grabbing, keeping up with
all the scores and all the players of all those sports teams, downing shots as
fast as or faster than their friends, making sure you can eat and smear your
entire body with BBQ or mustard from a dozen hotdogs or, the ultimate “male
thing”, chomping on a big fat cigar to prove you’re “one of the guys”. Nope,
 thank you but no thank you!

 

I looked around and as I watched all the back slapping, shot downing, and
after the game quarter-backing; I gazed out the window, sipped on my glass
of Sauvignon blanc and munched on a delicious Salmon salad. That’s when I
knew I’d rather just be me, a woman of a certain age, one who is still looking
forward to more adventures and enjoying the day.
Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1-5 of 5
  • Mauna's Avatar
    Posted by Mauna Tue Oct 27, 2009 6:08am PDT

    I can totally relate to parts of your article...the by cruel tongue "Has been" concept from the male perception side of the universe...elaborating on other parts; I do not nor enjoy wearing a lot of makeup..for simply the fact of an active lifestyle. Just imagine, all the time that women take to get ready, all those minutes accumulated, where they can better go to! Women doll themselves up for not themselves, but for their 'opposites' for that "just in case".... I say, when are the males going to start cleaning up their hygiene and appearance, etc, as when it comes to the understanding, accidentally bumping into a mate-serendipity? A lot of them are slobs! Another thing I really hate about gossipy tongues...whenever they see someone alone, male or female, the first thing that usually comes to the peer group mind set is..."Oh she/he must be gay" I still remember very vividly the rude talk towards single and alone soul adventurers from the ones who can NEVER BE ALONE!

    Report Abuse
  • john's Avatar
    Posted by john Sat Oct 31, 2009 2:57am PDT

    I was recently divorced after 14 years of marriage to a wonderful woman. It was her decision I just went along because she was certain it was what she needed. We had been working on our relationship for several years and evidently had too many obstacles to success. My problem is I met a beautiful woman just by chance and we get along great. We have started to date casually and neither of us is wanting to get serious, which is fine. I wanted to tell my ex I met someone I plan on seeing but all my friends said no don't it's none of her bussines, she asked for and got the divorce final in three months and wants to move on. Well now she has found out throught the grapevine I am sweet on someone, and she has completly changed her aditude with me. She seems angry and uncommunicitive. We had intended to remain friends. Her grown son who is thirtyfour and out of a job again and living in her home sent me a scathing email about how could I do that to his Mother. What did I do wrong?

    Report Abuse
  • arts lvr. playwright's Avatar
    Posted by arts lvr. playwright Sat Oct 31, 2009 7:34am PDT

    Recently divorced:

    You didn't do anything wrong. We just don't want to admit that we miss someone we've been with for a very long time and I'm sure when she realized you were moving on, even though that's what she wanted as well, it hurt her so she said something in front of her son. If she had met someone before you did, she might still have the same reaction, it's human nature I'm afraid to want to hold on to things or people even though are feelings have changed. It's an EGO thing. Maybe after awhile you will see one another and regain a friendship but it doesn't happen too often. Just live your own life and be happy!

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  • Marc's Avatar
    Posted by Marc Mon Nov 2, 2009 9:19am PST

    What's REALLY wrong with 'being single"?

    Society places soooo many unrealistic expectations on us.

    Men AND women(don't get me started on body expectations!!!!).

    My advice:

    be yourself(that way a potential "whatever" won't be shocked by any new revelations)

    live your life(in doing so you will attract someone who is around you,hopefully with similar interests,etc.)

    NEVER settle for anything that is less than you KNOW you deserve

    on the opposite side:have realistic expectations(there are certain things men simply can't do after so many years,even with the little blue pill!!! it's a matter of physical ability)

    become comfortable with yourself

    not to the point of egotism but look at it this way:

    if you DO wind up alone you WILL enjoy the company.

    Most importantly:

    if he says he loves you and doesn't show it do some serious soul searching and decide if this is a man you want to continue to be with "under these circumstances"

    meaning if he never changes,do you want to be with him.

    Please see my reply to "is it love or lust" as to,at least in my humble opinion,a good definition of the differences between love and in-love(infatuation).

    There IS a simple difference between loving a person and "being in love".

    The IN part of being in love is simply infatuation.

    You are infatuated of an IDEA of who and what that person is.

    Then reality sets in and you realize that it was all fantasy.

    That's NOT to be confused with attraction or lust.

    Lust is PURELY sexual.

    Love deals with MUTUAL respect,admiration and your opinion of that person.

    In the end it's ALL a matter of choice.....

    and whether you are willing to and capable of living with the consequences.

    Always remember:

    people are going to be people

    what they are and who they are

    people may be willing to meet you half way as far as changing bad habits(if not:run)

    the reality is that if that person CAN'T change what bothers you,it's probably time to move on(but ONLY after a serious effort has been made).

    No one is perfect.

    Be willing to compromise on your behalf but NOT to the point where you lose yourself or compromise your morals.

    All the best to you.

    Report Abuse
  • Marc's Avatar
    Posted by Marc Mon Nov 2, 2009 9:38am PST

    P.S.

    From my experience if an older "man" is looking past you at the "younger" model,he's got more issues than you ever wanted to deal with.

    You're better of without THAT!

    Part of being a man(again my humble opinion)is living in and dealing with reality.

    Aging is part of that reality.

    If he can't accept that he can't accept,nor does he even like himself.

    Personal note:

    I prefer WOMEN, not these little girls who live so irresponsibly it's scary.

    Though age doesn't have everything to do with that,most of it's attitude.

    It's no sin to want to look your best,be your best etc.,but if your BEST comes at the sacrifice of YOU,

    ask if it's worth it.

    Nor is it a sin to want to be loved.

    To be alone.

    To be human(which means not being perfect 24/7 LOL)

    Then you will find you can live with others being human.

    I PROMISE you,your world will change in so many wonderful fantastic(insert your adjective,ok maybe even cliche here)ways.

    (there's a reason those old cliches persist:there's a little truth in them)

    Learn from the past

    cherish the good memories

    try not to even think of the bad ones(easier said then done I know)

    don't live there either

    Hope for the future

    Live in and for the moment(otherwise you miss soooo much going on around you,I prefer to call it life LOL).

    All too soon it becomes the past.

    And life is too short.

    Every heart beat is a gift,

    make the most of every one you can.

    Report Abuse
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