Should I take a job that requires me to move, or stay here and keep looking?

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  Posted by Angela Tue Nov 18, 2008 4:26am PST

  I need advice on dating a guy for 10 years he has not propose and we have not had sex for 5 years. I am almost 40 and do not know where my relationship is going . what would you do if you were me.

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  Posted by sunshine Tue Nov 18, 2008 6:28am PST

  The fact that you have not had sex for five years says it all. I think this man is seeing other women behind uyour back (otherwise why no sex) and stringing you along. You are a young woman yet and deserve a more fulfilling relationship. Ask yourself why have you settled for so little in a relationship, let go and get out there and look around there may be a whole new life with a nice guy who will make sure you are not neglected sexually for five years, you deserve better go out there and get it girl!

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  Posted by opiniononly Tue Nov 18, 2008 6:34am PST

  If the long range plan was an agreement that you would move to his city and the opportunity now presents itself to do so, I wonder why you are hesitating. I'm not going to analyse what appears to be your resistance to taking advantage of an an opportunity to be in the same city...but I will say it sounds as if you aren't really ready to take the next step that will move your relationship to the next level. Apartments come and go - I'm sure you aren't going to live in your current place forever. Pets can come along and stay with the bf on weekends. Trusted friends can check your place for you. Mail can be forwarded. Friends who truly love you will stay in touch, no matter how far the distance. You will find another church (and I am in no way dismissing the difficulty of leaving a spiritual community and attempting to find another, btw). IF you truly want to move to his city, it will be easier to find a job from that city and working there (no matter now long or short the current position) will give you a start for networking. This might be His plan for you...my opinion, you are over thinking this and may be trying to find reasons/excuses not to do it.

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  Posted by ShelleyJoyce Tue Nov 18, 2008 6:36am PST

  I would say take the job.

  What's holding you back?

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  Posted by MochaMama42 Tue Nov 18, 2008 6:44am PST

  Move and stay with your fiance. You were already going to relocate anyway, I don't think it would be a bad idea.

  on the flip side, if you feel you really need to stay put, do so. you know how sometimes we ask a question we already know the answer to? I think in your case, you aren't ready to move, you just want to figure out how to let your fiance know with out ending the relationship.

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  Posted by Me Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:57am PST

  As one that has moved a lot and very long distance. You are never ready to give up your firends family home town etc. Never.

  But in the end the circumstances tell you that you need to be ready. It is hard, but jump, nothing but fear of the unknown is what is holding you back

  Remember your friends will remain your friends. Mine did, no distance could have changed that

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  Posted by Sarah Y Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:34am PST

  If you really want to spend the rest of your life with him, then it shouldn't feel like giving up your old life, but moving toward your new life. Our lives are constantly changing and we have to accept those changes. If something is holding you back, maybe you should question spending the rest of your life with this person. If it were me, I would pray about it.

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  Posted by Ada Tue Nov 18, 2008 1:10pm PST

  I have personally had to make the same difficult decision. What it comes down to is, if you have the opportunity to move and there are not things at home holding you down, why not? I always knew that of things did not work out in both my job and relationship, I could move back. Let's just say, I have not. It is difficult in some ways to move to a new area, but it it very exciting as well.

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  Posted by leandra Tue Nov 18, 2008 2:30pm PST

  I think that love is a gamble an in order to win some you goota lose some as well!.. so go girl go stay with your fiance' a good man is hard to come by these days!... good luck and make the right decision!..

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  Posted by Lesly Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:01pm PST

  To me, it seems like you aren't 'quite' ready to make that move. It could be 1 months, 3 months or 3 weeks from now, but from that I am reading- it seems as if somewhere deep down, you are hoping to land a job close to home. Just my opinion....

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